


An Autumn Night's Dream

by LisaDuncansTwin



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama, First Time, M/M, Written in 2000, death story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 01:35:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/792507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaDuncansTwin/pseuds/LisaDuncansTwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes circumstances are beyond our control</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Autumn Night's Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is classified as a death story, but I like to think of it as a love story with a tragic ending. Originally written and betaed in 2000, left unaltered. Poem by James Kavanaugh used without permission, no copyright infringement is intended. Thanks always to Diana for the beta. You're the reason I write!

_And when we know such love,_  
The unique love of you and me which  
Has been prepared from time's beginning and before,  
We know as well: A lifetime isn't long enough to love you.

\--James Kavanaugh 

A brisk autumn day was trying to dawn through the harsh clouds, but it was still undetermined which would win the battle. Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg had finished loading the truck for a camping trip. They hadn't packed much, but they wouldn't be camping long. 

Taking a final look around, Jim eyed the manila envelope on the table. 

Blair's soothing voice broke the silence, "Ready?" 

Turning to look at the love of his life, Jim smiled, "Yeah." 

Joining him at the door, Jim bent his head and stole a kiss from Blair's parted lips. 

They closed the door to the loft and locked it behind them, heading to the truck hand in hand. 

* * *

Arriving at their favorite site hours later, they set up camp with practiced ease, then headed to the river for some fishing. They shared an easy happiness at just being together, reveling in the quiet of the forest, enjoying their brief moment of freedom. 

Around mid-day, they decided to hike up the tallest peak. The trail was long and difficult, and they pushed their bodies to the limit, feeling the satisfaction when they reached the top. Lunch was a brief affair, and when it was finally over, they stood side by side, not quite touching, but aware, and looking out over the endless expanse of nature below them. It was a majestic show, the greens had never been greener, the trees never taller, the sun never so bright, the sky never so blue. It was a perfect day. 

Standing as close to the heavens as possible, Jim took Blair into his arms and kissed him deeply, savoring, cataloging, memorizing every smell and taste and touch as if it were the very first time. Jim looked down at his lover, needing to see his love reflected in Blair's deep blue eyes. 

"I love you," Jim said simply, "I will always love you." 

Blair trembled in his embrace, "Me too, Jim. I have always loved you, and I always will." 

Linking hands, they slowly made their way back down the mountain to their camp. 

* * *

Jim spent a few minutes tidying up, while Blair broke open the bottle of whiskey. He poured them each a healthy shot, then recapped the bottle. Clinking glasses, they downed the fiery liquid in one gulp, setting the glasses side by side before going into the tent. 

Fingers shaking, they slowly undressed themselves. Blissfully naked, they lay on their sides, facing each other, eyes appreciating what their fingers ached to touch and remember. Jim finally placed his hand on Blair's chest, feeling the beloved heart fluttering to a song as old as time. They moved together then, dancing in the ageless rhythm, punctuating each stanza with sighs and kisses. Commands and requests were whispered as one lover prepared the other for their first joining. Cries of pleasure and shouts of completion broke the silence of the forest as their lovemaking reached its inevitable conclusion. 

Much later, Jim returned to their fire, stoking it for the hours ahead. He returned to his lover's side with the whiskey and glasses, and poured them another shot. Their eyes met, and they swallowed the burning liquid without tasting it. 

They made love again, reversing roles, but still with one taking as the other willingly gave. Each moment was treasured, hallowed. They had only discovered this love, this gift recently, and had waited until this perfect moment in time to unite completely. Now that it was here, their lovemaking was unhurried, a fulfillment of mutual desire. The bond between them had grown as they explored the depth of their connection. Realizing that they could never be separated, they made a commitment to one another in front of friends and family, so everyone would know the strength and devotion the two men shared. 

Dawn's prickly fingers were starting to tickle the edges of their tent when Jim stepped outside. Relieving himself, he checked to make sure their fire was out completely, and then went back inside the tent. Zipping it shut behind him, he felt Blair's eyes watching his every move. 

Slowly, Jim uncapped the whiskey for the last time, handing the bottle to his lover while he reached into his bag. Withdrawing a small bottle, he opened it and spilled the contents into his hand. Blair stretched his palm out, and Jim dropped less than half of the pills he held into it. Without another thought, Blair tossed the pills into his mouth, brought the bottle up to his lips, and swallowed several mouthfuls, washing the pills down into his stomach to dissolve and act. Jim followed Blair's example, taking his fair share of pills and liquid. 

Before settling in the sleeping bag beside his lover, Jim placed the empty bottles beside his badge and gun. Their bodies curled together naturally, touching at every point possible, taking pleasure in the heat and presence of one another. 

Yawning, Blair murmured, "...was a good day." 

Kissing the bare skin behind Blair's ear, Jim said softly, "...was great." 

The peace of the forest closed around the two lovers who had closed their eyes forever. 

* * *

Epilogue 

Simon let himself into the loft with Jim's keys. It seemed like days had passed since the call came telling him the news, but it had only been twelve hours, the longest hours of his life. He had found it unbelievable, needing to see the bodies and do the detective work for himself before he could even begin to accept the situation. 

Looking around the spotless loft, Simon sighed harshly, still unable to understand, fearing that in all likelihood, he would never understand. Then he saw it, a manila envelope placed in the center of the table. Stepping closer, he realized his name was printed on the front. 

"Damn you, Jim Ellison!" Simon yelled at the empty loft. 

Ripping the envelope open, he expected to see a note, but there was only one crumpled pink paper: lab results. He didn't need to try to decipher all of the information, because someone, probably Sandburg, had highlighted the important phrases: inoperable brain tumor, less than three months life expectancy. The date on the report was nearly two months old. 

Sitting heavily on the couch, Simon shook his head as images from the last two months jumped out at him: Blair's unexplained absences from the PD, Jim's days off, irrational actions on both their parts. Simon berated himself, _If I'd been any kind of detective, I would have seen it coming. If I'd been any kind of friend, I would have known something was wrong._ But Jim and Blair had put on a good front, never once letting anyone know that there was a demon chasing them. 

And suddenly, Simon understood. 

Over the years, from the bits that Blair had let drop about the Sentinel/Guide relationship and a lot of on-the-spot observations, Simon had come to realize that it was quite possible that a Sentinel could not live without a Guide. Apparently, he had been right. But even more important, there was no doubt in Simon's mind at all that Jim Ellison, could not, would not live without Blair Sandburg. 

The end. 


End file.
